Connection Creates the Direction. It’s a simple sentence, at first blush, but if we dive into how it relates to leaders leading and follower’s following it proves to be quite powerful. Here is the story of how I came to discover this concept.
When I started following, 20+ years ago, I would move forward on count one because it was count one. Most of the time I would blow by the lead and realize, after it was too late, that I missed something…Connection. West Coast Swing (and the world) had not gone through any form of de-gendering. Back then 99.99% of men lead and 99.99% women followed.
Asking another man to dance was daunting task. I was on a mission to improve my connection as a follower. I was known for being a good leader so the expectations were always higher than I could deliver as a follower. With most leaders I had one shot to “impress” and I blew it time and time again. In those days I could dance 6 nights a week as a leader and maybe score one single yes to dance as a follower. No one has been turned down more than I have.
It was around this time I met Ramiro Gonzalez (click his name to see us dance). Ramiro was/is as good at following as leading. After leading him a handful of times, I worked up the courage to ask him to lead me. The dance began terribly…Ramiro, being a seasoned instructor, recognized right away what the issue was and made suggestions while we danced. We took turns swapping who was leading many more times that weekend and something clicked in my body.
The major shift was from “thinking about what to do” to “feeling where to go.” It no longer matters to my brain what the leader is actually leading. What matters is that I “back into” or “press into” the connection. When I began letting the connection create the direction, I never went back. Connected dancing is like riding a bike…once you do it you can never not do it!
This is the lesson plan I used to teach this concept:
