Why do Better West Coast Swing Dancers Dance More? I was exchanging emails with a swing friend and at the same time responding to one of the Swing discussion chat pages on facebook and the same topic came up in both “Better dancers don’t dance with us beginner dancers.” This is one of those age old arguments that gets stirred up with each batch of newer dancers.

Who is to blame?

If you are sitting out dance after dance the blame falls solely on your own shoulders. If you finish one dance and make it off the floor without asking someone else to dance perhaps you have the wrong expectations. Humans live their lives on a risk/reward system that works a lot like the songs I play when I DJ. No matter how good a song performed one time, it can’t replace the song that works for me every time. There are just a handful of tunes that I will play every time I see them on a list. Every dancer has 3-5 partners that they have shared enough dances with to not let them walk off the floor if they are in close enough proximity.

What to do

As a newer dancer (and I mean rank beginner wishing to be as good as the leaders with two left feet) I almost never left the floor. When I asked someone to dance I explained that I was a beginner and let them know that they could leave the dance floor half way through if I was being a burden. My focus was on developing my basics into second nature by dancing with dancers that were better than I was because they had so much to offer me.

At the time I had very little to offer those more advanced dancers or so I thought. It turns out that once I had my basics down cold I was able to add a value to my partners dancing that most of the leaders above my level (not counting the pros) could not…The added value was play time! Good solid basics have lots of room for playing with the music. Leaders and followers, it turns out, do not mind “dancing down” a level or two especially when it means they have the opportunity to embellish their dancing with a little play time.

The morals of this article are:

If you want to dance more, dance more

Your job is to value your dancing enough to want to dance up a level or two

Give your partner a good dance by knowing your basics

Try not to leave the floor without asking someone else to dance right away

Take Time to Take Time

Independence Day means a lot to many people, myself included. One of the things it means is that I get to spend time with one of my favorite people…My younger brother. We grill together, we enjoy cigars together, and we ride our dirt bikes together. Its always fun and we have amassed quite the collection of memories over the years.

This year I started a new tradition quite by accident. I locked my phone in my car for the entire visit at first it was so I wouldn’t loose it on the trails. Later it was that my car was too far away to justify breaking the conversation. By the end of our 4pm lunch I had enjoyed not being beholden to the devise so much that I left it were it was.

On one hand I could make the argument that my phone doubles as my camera and I could be documenting the afternoon with pictures and videos. The flip side is that it also has too much other stuff (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) that may tempt me away from such a special time. By days end I had interacted so much more with those around me that my brother let me know that for some reason this 4th of July seemed different in such a good way.

July has 3 or so weeks left and I plan to make the most of them and my interactions with those around me. The phone is staying in the car as much as it can while I am busy living.

Is anyone down to try this experiment with me? Don’t tell anyone that you are doing it. Leave the phone behind/in the car. Take an active roll in conversations, make eye contact, and experience the life that is around you…In other words Take Time to Take the Time! See if anyone notices that the experience has been enriched.